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The Ability To Make Change Is A Gift We All Have

I watched a keynote speech given by Tom Bilyeu the co-founder of Quest Nutrition, the second-fastest-growing private company in North America on the Inc 5000 for 2014.   His topic was how to reach the top with no experience.   In the beginning, Tom did not have any entrepreneurial experience, but with a dream and determination, he learned his way to the top.   This was a fabulous keynote.  There are many takeaways to share with you.  I hope you get some value from them as I did.

“The greatest gift anyone can give you in life is doubt.”  “The single largest profound gift is when someone does not believe in you.”

Drive equals Ambition.  For example.  You can be a complete failure in a sport, but know enough about the sport to help others be better.  Having an eye to see things in others you are unable to do for yourself is a skill you can build on.   Think of some of the greatest coaches.

Teaching IS Self Improvement – When you teach YOU improve.   I learned an acronym called ILT.  It means to invest in a course, learn it and then teach it.  When you teach what you have learned you have gained mastery.

There is a difference between Ambition and Drive.  It has everything to do with who you want to become rather than who you are today.   Rather than focusing on your current self, begin focusing on who you want to become.

Ideas in = Ideas out.  Read everything you can to reinforce your ideas. You can have any position you want in life. You just need to be the right person for the job. Focus on getting better, than who you are now. Be a voracious reader. Have the drive to learn. Brain science teaches us that we can do anything. However, having a set of beliefs is a must. Build a new set of them. We are currently living in the now with our current level of knowledge and understanding.

“The most important question any man must decide for himself is whether or not he lives in a friendly or hostile environment” ~ Albert Einstein ~.   The meaning of this quote is about making a decision.  You get to choose whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe. There is no objective reality. The more you focus on something, the more you will get of it.

Humans are born adaptive more than any other living thing. The difference between humans and say a horse is when a horse is born it knows how to walk, run and jump etc. However,  a human is not born pre-programmed. An infant is so incapable of helping themselves.  They cannot hold their head up without any support and would starve to death unless someone feeds it. They poop in diapers and do not get clean unless someone cleans them. The beautiful part is we can adapt in any direction we want.

Tom references the book Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder by Nassim Nicholas Taleb.  The author introduces the book as follows: “Some things benefit from shocks; they thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors and love adventure, risk, and uncertainty. Yet, in spite of the ubiquity of the phenomenon, there is no word for the exact opposite of fragile.  Let us call it antifragile. Antifragility is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better”  In sales that can mean overcoming rejection by getting a 100 no’s before getting a yes.  Or working for 20 no’s a day.

What do you really want?  Is it to feel smart, to feel worthy?  If that is what you really want then stay in the position of always feeling good, being right and live that life.  However, if you what you really want is to reach your goals, you will need to stop worrying about feeling good about yourself.  Don’t get me wrong, everyone needs to feel good about themselves, but everything you do should be in service towards your goals.

Goal vs Behavior – When acting out of alignment in your life, one of these will need to change.  If out of alignment with your goal then your behavior must change.

Do you believe you are building self-esteem about being right, feeling worthy, being good and being smart?  You may want to consider a different perspective as these are judgments on yourself.

The best way to build your healthy ego is to be the LEARNER.  Look towards your goals and work backward.  Learn the things you need to learn to attain that goal.   Be willing to make mistakes and know where you are in your learning process when making mistakes.   Acknowledge them, be accountable and move on from there.

Skills have utility.  The reason to develop a skill is to have power in what you want.  This does not mean power over others.  This means using your new skills to move towards your goal.    “The distance between goals and reality is directly linked to skill-set”   A good mindset to develop is knowing with a long enough timeline, I can learn this by identifying the skills needed and going for it.   Epic failures can and do happen when going for what you want in life.  Don’t judge yourself at a moment in life.  That does not define who you are.

The struggle is guaranteed.  Success is not.  There is always room for the best.  If you are prepared to be one of the best, you can become unstoppable.  You can build something out of a mountain of doubt.   Find enough skills that have utility and put that utility to the test of someone else.  It’s called “Techne” (Ancient Greek term).   There is always room for a new player.  Work toward helping others with your own unique set of skills.  The game your playing is NOT success.  It is NOT money.  The game you are playing is brain chemistry.

The only thing in life that matters is how you feel when you are by yourself.  The things you say to yourself in your mind when no one is around is what matters.

The gift you have been given is the ability to change.

The 3 Levels Of Understanding For Creating Lasting Change In Your Life And Business

Last weekend I attended a Real Estate Expo where Anthony (Tony) Robbins was the keynote speaker. If you have ever attended a Tony Robbins event regardless of whether it is a 4-hour event to his 50-hour immersion you will leave the event energized with a changed state of mind.

Below is a snippet of one of the topics covered. I’ll share some others in future posts.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Whenever we start something new, it feels good, wouldn’t you agree? Everything is new and exciting, you’re learning and seeing results in short periods of time. But when things get harder, you start to plateau, so what happens? You may procrastinate to a snail’s pace or stop.

To achieve lasting change in your life (and in your business), you must master these 3 levels of Understanding

1) Cognitive understanding. In other words, intellectual understanding connects our behaviors in how we act and how we think. This is the stage where you become aware of a behavior you want to acquire or a behavior you want to change. Being self-aware of who you are or who you want to become is the first step in making a change. When lacking an awareness of behavioral habits you want to acquire or change, you will be unaware of what is damaging your life. Without accomplishing this step, the next two steps will be unaware to you.

2) Emotional Mastery. Emotional mastery occurs when you start connecting consequences and doing. It’s acting on what you know instead of just knowing it. Every habit or behavior triggers an emotional state that will create a routine around a habit. This is associating pain with a particular problem. For example, have you ever hired someone or brought in a partner that “did not feel quite right”? Ignoring our instincts oftentimes ends with an undesired painful result. However, a high percentage of the time, this pain is not painful enough to change this behavior. People repeat the same mistakes because they are not associating enough pain with the problem. Repeating this pattern holds them back from reaching the last level of understanding: physical mastery.

3) Physical Mastery. When incorporating enough repetition and enough emotion, we can get to physical mastery. Physical mastery means you don’t have to think about it. It’s automatic, you just do it and requires no extra effort. A good example is a child learning to tie their shoes. With lots of repetition and emotional reinforcement, like praise from people, it got a little easier. In time you gained confidence in tying your shoes and today you probably don’t think about it. That’s physical mastery. Regardless of what the goal is to master, this 3 step process is the same. The task is to become the best at what you choose in addition to having physical mastery over every aspect of that choice. For instance, in business, it is managing your finances, managing your marketing, and managing your human resources without having to think about the routine.


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