Personal Development Archives - Kristie J Mathews


Category Archives for "Personal Development"

😲The Triad Secret For Success Online: Above Average Wisdom 👌

Finding your personal “Triad” is the fastest way I’ve seen people succeed online. It works more consistently than anything other approaches I’ve seen both online and off.   This post covers what theTriad Secret” for success is with real-world examples of how this concept works so that you can create your own Triad Secret in your business.

What is the triad secret?

The “triad secret” for success is when you combine 3 or more separate skills or niches into something unique. This is not a new concept, it’s been in front of you this entire time!   Every successful person I know and have observed does this.  They may not know they are doing it, but they are.

The original idea came from Scott Adams, the creator of the comic strip, Dilbert.  He says, “Every skill you acquire doubles your odds for success.” You only have to be “good” at these skills when you add enough of them. And, you don’t have to the best in the world at anything.  He explained the idea in detail during an interview with a Forbes magazine reporter.

You Don’t Have To Be The Best!

Here is a summary of what he said:

He is not that great of an artist… He’s good, but definitely not “best in the world”. He is not as funny as a stand-up comedian either. But, he’s kind of funny. He wasn’t that great as a businessman and he isn’t that good of a writer. To sum it all up, he has fairly average talents. But, when you add them all together it creates something extraordinary! This is the easy option compared to becoming the best in the world at something!

A Publishing Component Is The Key

Here’s the method explained another way:

You want to get very good at a few different skills and focus one of those skills on content creation. Content needs to a published as a blog, video or a podcast. The content you will publish will be based on the other two skills. The unique mix of skill is where the real value lies. Your personal mix IS your path to success.

The following video explains in greater with examples of website owners who took merged average skills into something extraordinary.

📌What’s The #1 Personality Trait For Success? 🤔 It’s not what you think…

The #1 Personality Trait For Success

If you thought hard work was the number one trait it was a good guess.  But, that’s only a fraction of it.  Becoming successful does require hard work.  However, scientific proof says you will not become successful because you work hard.   If that were true then the construction worker would then automatically become successful.  They would be the most wealthy in the world. Waiters and bus staff work hard and therefore would be wealthy too!

The Hexaco Personality Inventory is considered to be the most accurate rating model in determining individual personality traits.  It examines 6 factors or dimensions within the human personality.  They include Honesty-Humility, Emotionality, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, and Openness to Experience.  Based on all the models examined Hexaco has proven that Conscientiousness is by far more correlated with business success than any other personality trait.

4 Subcategories

There are 4 subcategories within the Conscientiousness dimension.  Each subcategory represents 25% of the overall dimension.  They are:

1) organization
2) perfectionism
3) diligence
4) prudence

Hard work (Diligence/hustle) – Hard work or diligence will not guarantee success as illustrated earlier.  If that were true then all hard working people would be successful.

Perfectionism – You have to know how to double check your work.  For example, if you are the pilot of a plane, you must double check your procedure to avoid a catastrophic mistake.   That’s why the flight crew is required to work through a checklist before takeoff and also work through a checklist upon landing.   Knowing how to double check your work requires a willingness to accept you are capable of making mistakes and will do all that’s possible to prevent them.

Organization  – Take 10 minutes every day to organize your day.  You will have more success and less stress when you know what you need to get do and how much time it will take to get things done.

Prudence – This is the most important subcategory!  Prudence is the ability to make the right decision.  When thinking of a compass most entrepreneurs tend to go south when they should be heading north.  When heading in the wrong direction, you will eventually arrive at your destination but how much precious time is wasted is based on your decision to correct your course.

Making the right choice is a skill that requires good judgment and reasoning.  Most entrepreneurs develop prudence through trial and error.  However, the learning curve can be shortened dramatically by reading relevant material, getting mentors, obtaining guidance and relying on past experience.   Seeking the counsel of people with the proper knowledge and experience will help you find your true destination and shorten the entrepreneurial journey.

The day you admit you’re lost will help you get on track faster.   It will allow you to be found by people who can help you.   All the greatest leaders in the world have.

👉Never Be The “Bitch” Of Your Own Mind!😲

Never be the bitch of your own mind.~ Tai Lopez ~

Humans have a brain wiring issue.  We think we are smart.  But, the smartest people are not necessarily the most successful.  However, even if you are not the smartest you can be very successful by hiring people smarter than you.

Your mind is driven by deep evolutionary drives.  For example, narcissism is a protection mechanism. Your mind wants to tell you that you are amazing.  By doing so, it makes you its “bitch”.  Ironically, most personal development training suggests you should build yourself up with this mindset and reinforce it with affirmations.  But, there is more to it.  You should build yourself up, but you have to add another element and override that and say, I am amazing but there is more to learn.  So let me go learn from someone more amazing.

Evolutionary biologist, Richard Dawkins famous quote is “Organisms who only learn by trial and error lose to organisms that can learn from others trial and error.”   When you are the bitch of your brain, you will just freewheel through life.  You may even say “well it’s meant to be” accepting whatever outcome happens.   However, when you take control of your thoughts and realize there are things you just don’t know and dedicate yourself to a lifetime of continual purposeful learning your outcomes will be more predictable.

You can’t pound things into peoples heads.   The best approach is to inspire people to learn.   Set examples that create curiosity and fosters a yearning to learn more.

It’s hard to be organized in life.  Dog’s are a good example of disorganization.  You can act on the animal side to wing life like a dog or operate from the sense of duty by being organized.  Find somebody that is a person of discipline and self-motivation and spend all the time you can with them.  However, finding someone like this may require you to step outside of your sphere of influence.  This may make you feel uncomfortable.  Just do it anyway, it will be worth it.

American investor, businessman, and philanthropist Charlie Munger says “Step by step you get ahead but not necessarily in fast spurts.   You must prepare for the fast spurts by learning step by step.”  Read, listen to audio books and download information from the internet.   If you want to become extremely intelligent, download stuff from intelligent people.  You don’t have to agree with all you learn.   You can pick and choose what you want to apply in your life’s journey.   Choose one piece, step by step.

👍What’s The Key To Self-Confidence?🏌️‍♀️

What is self-confidence? It’s the ability and belief to believe in yourself to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty and no matter the adversity.    Self-confidence is a skill and without perfecting it we are useless.

There Is No Easy Button

The easiest way to build self-confidence is by repetition.  That’s it!

Basketball star Stephen Curry practices 100 shots from the half-court line every day and before games to perfect his 3 point shot.   Repetition is why he makes most of those shots.    Golf pro, Tiger Woods made golf fun to watch again because of all the amazing shots and long putts Tiger made.   It’s because of daily practice is why he is so good.  From famous athletes to industry leaders what separates them from the pack is their dedication to practice each and every day.

Pressure Builds Diamonds

We expect to be self-confident, but we can’t unless the task we are doing is not new to us. Pressure builds diamonds! We want to be in situations where we feel like we have done this 1000 times before.  The problem with repetition is too many people bails after the first bit of failure or after the first bit of adversity.

There would not have been a Harry Potter series if JK Rawlings had quit after being turned down by several publishers.  I believe it was the 13th publisher who finally said YES and the rest is history.

Do not accept failure. Be persistent because we all repeat something, but a few persist.  We all have a negative self-talk track playing in our head.  There are enough people telling us we can’t do it or we’re not good enough.  Why do we want to tell ourselves that?

Thoughts Create Things

It’s a well-researched fact that thoughts influence our actions. Then why do we want to say that negative self-talk to ourselves?  We need to create our own affirmations and incantations.  Use the quiet moments when you’re by yourself to reaffirm “I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate”

Get away from the people who will tear you down.  There is enough of that.   Mohammad Ali was one of the greatest boxers of all time.  He was known for saying “I am the greatest, no one is better than me”.  Although he was humorous fun kind of guy, he was not saying this to brag, or boost his ego or some sense of false pride, it was a reminder to himself.

Write Yourself A Brag Letter

Write a list about all the things that make you who you are.  Keep this handy because you will make mistakes and people will be there to tear you down.  Your list will help you remember who you are.

Write yourself a brag letter congratulating yourself for the things you have accomplished and are proud of.  Stop the negative self-talk.   Find an anchor to remind you to think of all you have accomplished and what you are striving for.  Lance Armstrong wore bands saying Livestrong on them (before the company was launched).  He would move them from one wrist to the other when dealing with his self-confidence.  Find what works for you.

Two Ways To Build Self-Confidence In Others

The two ways to build self-confidence in others are to ignore what is going wrong and find something to praise them for.   Keep praising them for doing the things you want them to repeat.

Self-confident people will interpret feedback the way they choose.  Being told no may mean to them, not now, but not never.  No one will believe in you unless you do. Look at all the people who seem to “not fit in”.   We’re supposed to be different so when people look at you believe in yourself.



🔟 Ten Questions To Ask To Get The Most Of Your Networking Opportunities 👍

Nearly every person we encounter is a networking opportunity!  You never know who is in their sphere of influence that you may know or know you.   The following are questions that are those used by the networking expert, Bob Burg.  They are designed to not only help build rapport with your networking prospect but also make them feel good and they will enjoy answering.

“All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to
those people they know, like and trust.”  ~ Bob Burg ~

Remember these questions are designed to build rapport.  You won’t have time to ask more than 2-3 of them in any one conversation.   Asking more than that will seem like an interrogation.

  1. How did you get your start in the _____ business?”
    People like to talk about themselves.  This is a question that elicits a good positive feeling.  Let them share their story while you actively listen.
  2. What do you enjoy most about your profession?
    This question will also bring about a good positive feeling and it should get the positive response you are seeking.
  3. What separates you and your company from the competition?
    We are told not to brag about our accomplishments.  You are now giving permission for them to let it all out.
  4. What advice would you give someone just starting in the _____ business?
    This is the mentor question. Don’t we all feel that our answer matters? Give you networking prospect a chance to feel like a mentor by asking this question.
  5. What one thing would you do with your business if you knew you could not fail?
    This is the fantasize question. Your prospect will appreciate the fact you cared enough to ask. And notice they will take a few moments to really think about this before answering.
  6. What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession through the years?
    This is a good question to ask of someone older than you in years. They’ve gone through technology changes such as fax to internet etc. Especially coming from a time when service really seemed to matter.
  7. What do you see as the coming trends in the widget business?
    This is the speculator question. You will make them feel good about themselves when asking this question.  It also give this person a chance to speculate and share their knowledge with you – to be the expert.
  8. Describe the strangest or funniest incident you’ve experienced in your business?
    This gives someone the opportunity to share their “in the trenches story”.  We all have a story to share when we began in business.  Something that may have been embarrassing and not funny then, but is now.
  9. What ways have you found to be the most effective for promoting your business?
    Do not ask this of someone in the advertising business.  It’s a probing question and will be perceived as such. It’s a good question however to find out about how your prospect thinks.
  10. What one sentence would you like people to use in describing the way you do business?
    They will always stop and think before answering this. You are asking a question that quite possibly has not been asked by even the people most closet to them.

The One “Key” Question That Will Set You Apart From Everyone Else…

How can I know if someone I’m speaking to is a good prospect for you?

This question is key in the process of getting this person to feel they know you, likes you and trusts you.  It must be asked with sincerity and only after some rapport has been made.   You are probably the only person they have met who has asked this question and probably the only one who has asked it during a first conversation together.

Relationships are an essential part of sales.   Using these questions will start the process of making long lasting friendships that will dramatically affect your bottom line as well as theirs.


1 2 3 5