Personal Development Archives - Page 3 of 5 - Kristie J Mathews


Category Archives for "Personal Development"

👉Motivation Is NOT A Mindset.🧠 Here’s Why⁉️

Motivation Is Not Sustainable

Motivation is something that dwindles away over time unless we change our mindset. It lacks sustainability. Yet, our mindset is what motivates us. Most of us go through life with an unconscious mindset that drives our thoughts and drives our behaviors. We regard the outcomes in our life as fate.  The lack of self-awareness as it relates to its drivers is what causes self-sabotage.

How Many Blueprints Do We Need?

There are thousands upon thousands of self-help materials available in our libraries, in bookstores and online.   Collectively, people have spent literally trillions of dollars to find the exact “how to” blueprint.  Yet, as a society we are still getting fatter, we are still going into debt and the majority who try are still unable to build a successful business.

We don’t need to know more about how to lose weight.   The weight loss benefit of eating vegetables over potato chips are clearly understood by most.  Yet, we continue to self-sabotage our efforts because we are unaware of the unconscious drivers that are pushing our actions and behaviors.

4 Stages Of Competence

Mindset is everything.  When you change your mindset you change your perspective on everything and then everything changes.   If you don’t change your mindset then nothing changes.

The key to changing your mindset is to understand the 4 stages of competence.  We must ascend from the stage of unconscious incompetence to the stage of unconscious competence to complete the process.

  • Unconscious Incompetence – When you are doing something wrong and you don’t know you are doing it wrong.
  • Conscious Incompetence – When you are doing something wrong and you know you are doing it wrong.
  • Conscious Competence – When you are doing something right, but you have to focus on doing it the right way.
  • Unconscious Competence – When you are doing something right and you don’t have to think about it.

Eliminate Your Limitations

Understanding how the brain processes change is necessary because it’s a process that takes time.  But, to create the sustainable change desired we must incorporate 4 exercises into our daily routine.  These exercises are a process designed to deconstruct the unconscious mind and then reconstruct it.  The exercises are, learn your language, count your wins, review your direction and imagine your outcome.

Learn your language is done first thing in the morning, while count your wins is done in the evening before going to bed.  Watch the embedded video to learn how to do these exercises.  They are not hard to do and only take a few minutes to complete.

Review your direction is done anytime in the day.  You begin your review by asking yourself a series of questions and reflecting on your answers.  Imagine your outcome is a playful and highly effective exercise.  In this exercise, you get to sit in your imagination throughout the day.  Watch the embedded video to learn how to do these two remaining exercises.  They are fun and easy to do.

Repetition is key.  These exercises must be practiced every day.   When committing to these four exercises you will quickly begin to see your behaviors, your perceptions, your actions, your habits, and your belief systems change.  They will naturally navigate you to becoming the new person you envisioned to be.

Feeling Stuck In Coming Up With Content Ideas? – 7 Steps To Get You Started

It seems like every online marketer has experienced this problem at one time or another. Most of the time there is something else lingering in the background and that is the need to get out of our head. In other words, get out of our own way. It’s easy to get stuck in perfection paralysis. If you are feeling stuck here are 7 steps that will help you get unstuck and get your content engine running.

Most Important

Content creation and personal development is the most important thing an entrepreneur does in a day.  Network Marketing consultant, Ray Higdon says it best, “The one who provides the most content wins.”  When you think about it, it really does not take much content to begin to be noticed online.  Just one piece of content per week will yield 52 pieces in a year.

How Much Content Should Be Created

The person who uploads content every once in a while will not get measurable results if any at all.  To get eyeballs on your work you will need to produce at least 2 pieces of value-based content per day.  In one year that will yield over 100 pieces of content.  100 pieces of content will start getting you noticed.   But, if you want quicker results you will need to produce at least 5 pieces of value-based content per week.    At that pace, you will begin to yield results in about 90 days.

Value-Based Content

Producing content that answers a person’s problem is what you want to focus on.  Think about your niche.  If you are in the wellness industry and you promote weight loss products, produce content around the subject of weight loss.   Answer questions keeping the who, the what, the where, the when and the how to weight loss in mind.   Frame your topic around a question.  For example, “How To Rev Up Your Weight Loss While You Sleep “.  Your content should answer the question and provide a few tips supporting the topic.

7 Steps

Getting Started

Getting started is the hardest part.  Commit to producing at least one piece of value-based content per week and then commit to two and so on.   As with any learning a new habit, it’s hard at first and get’s easier with repetition.

Declare It Publically

Declaring any intention publically makes it hard to back out of a commitment.  Post your commitment to content production on social media.  Ask your audience who is with you?

Be Accountable

You must develop the mindset that content creation is one of the most important things to do in your business.  If making a commitment is making you feel a little uneasy then getting an accountability partner may be for you.

Get a coach or find a like-minded entrepreneur who wants to join you on your content creation journey.   Encourage each other to move through the steps and overcome perfection paralysis.

Consume Existing Niche Content

Think I-L-T, invest, learn and teach.   Consuming existing content is investing in yourself.  You are investing your time to read, to listen or to watch content.  Take notes and then produce a piece of content from them.  Producing and sharing your content is the teaching part.   When you can teach something you are gaining mastery.

Avoid Perfection Paralysis

Perfectionism is a “dream killer”.  Don’t get stuck in making perfect content.  Your content may suck at the beginning.  It’s ok.   Accept the notion you will make mistakes.   Learn from them and apply those lessons moving forward.

Get Out Of Your Head

Face your fear of what other people think about your content, your video or your blog post.   Keep focused on providing content that helps solve your audience’s problems.

Do 3 Small Things Today

There are 3 small but important things you can take action on today that will propel you into being a content creating extraordinaire.   Summarize one key tip by writing one to two paragraphs about what you have learned from the content you consumed earlier.  You do not need to summarize all of it.  Writing out your summary will help train your brain to absorb the information you learned.  Share the contents of your summary in a short video.  Your video should include an introduction, the question you will answer, your content supporting the question and a call to action.

Commit to serving your audience value-based content.  When implementing these seven steps you will be on your way to realizing your dreams in whatever niche you are in.


👉 Break The Habit Of Being A Guru Groupie 🤭

What I’m about to share with you is not to insult a guru or dissuade you from following one.  My goal is to bring awareness to a habit that many marketers make that may not be helping them.

The Players

First, we must define who the players are.  They are the guru, the fan and the groupie.

A Guru is an influencer.   An influencer is typically a person, but it can also be a company.  Examples of influencers are teachers, professors, public speakers or even your CEO.   The influencer fills many roles, but generally, they are someone who bestows skills or viewpoints.

A Fan is an admirer.   An admirer is someone who will follow the influencer.    They engage when the influencer covers a topic they are interested in.   For example, you belong to a Facebook group lead by an influencer.   As with many Facebook groups, the influencer has a daily message covering a wide array of topics.    Although the fan is a member of the group if the topic is not of interest to them they will not engage with the influencer that day.

A Groupie is a loyal follower.  In other words, the groupie will attend all of the influencer’s performances regardless of what the topic is.   They almost exclusively embrace the influencer’s beliefs and motives.  It’s almost like a cult.

It’s a Fast Paced World

We live in a time when so much information is becoming available every day.  It’s impossible to keep up with it.   This is the trap we fall into when being a groupie.  In the quest to stay informed in a particular subject we tend to follow a source that fills our need for information.

Think about your favorite news station and your favorite news personality.  Most people rarely deviate from their chosen news source.  Why is that?  Generally, it’s because the topics covered align with the views of their audience.   But, does that news source cover all topics that are relevant to the viewer?  The answer, for the most part, is no.   The news source is delivering information based on their niche which may be left of center, fair and balanced or right of center news.

So if your quest is to get all of the news of the day, regardless of viewpoints, you will get your news from a variety of sources.

Personal Development vs New Skill

New Skill

The best way to learn a new skill is to learn from one influencer (teacher).  It’s also referred to as mirroring and matching.  The goal is to master the skill and then begin to find ways to strengthen that skill.    Let’s use cooking as our analogy.   You want to learn how to bake a cake.  The best way to learn that skill is to follow a recipe.  If you follow several recipes at once your cake will probably be a flop.   It will be difficult to figure out why the cake flopped because there were too many variations followed at one time.   It’s best to follow one recipe.  Evaluate the outcome.  Do you like the taste and texture?  Is it dry or too moist?  Once you have mastered the recipe then you can add in a variation from another recipe and try that then evaluate the outcome.

Personal Development

Growth in several areas of interest is referred to as personal development.   It can be a mix of learning a new skill and evolving a point of view in a particular area of interest.  Generally, it is gaining knowledge in something of interest but not having mastery in it.   Let’s use health for example.  It is typically something we don’t study as a vocation, but we read books and watch television shows on the subject because we are interested in it.  We are in essence developing our knowledge around the subject, but not considered an expert in it.  Think of all things you are interested in and which interests you have gained mastery in.

The Gurus Do This

If you want to target the skills you need to master and expand your personal development do what the gurus do.   Why do they know so much?  They learn from a variety of other influencers.  Gurus interview or learn from those who have interviewed artists, performers, researchers, scientists, psychologists, and chefs.  You get the point.   Interviewers cover key points of interests.  For example, you can interview the author of a book that is 500 pages long and learn the most important points of the book in 5 or 6 questions.  You learn from the author’s answers.   Their answers may create an interest in you to read the book, but you won’t have to if the answers satisfied your interest in that topic.

Influencers will also buy time from another influencer just to expand their knowledge or skill on one or two areas of their life.   This is one of many techniques in rapid learning.   Learn what is needed at that time in a particular interest and move on from there.   It’s like dining at a buffet but the food is knowledge.

Don’t Get Stuck In The Trap

For the marketer, avoiding the guru trap is crucial for your success.  Being aware of who you are learning from and where you are getting your information from has a direct impact on how well you will serve your clients and customers.   Be selective.   Expand your knowledge by allowing varying forms of influence into your life.    Your business revenue will be your guide as to how well you’re doing.



💪Flex Your Wealth Muscle With This Simple Exercise 🏋️‍♀️

It’s usually the small, simple steps in life that yield the best results.  In this video, I share a concept, an exercise, that when practiced on a regular basis will create change in you that will add to your wealth. This exercise has many benefits and serves people in ways beyond our imagination. It has endless possibilities…and it will make you feel good!

What Is A Wealth Muscle

Think of weight training.  When you exercise a muscle on a regular basis, the muscle grows, it gets stronger and the exercise becomes easier to do.   The same applies to build a wealth muscle.  It’s get’s bigger, it gets stronger and easier to do over time.  It’s a simple concept, right?  But, if you have not exercised for a while, it is no longer a habit.  And to start a habit or regain one we may need a reminder to exercise.  It may be a “post-it” on the bathroom mirror, a note by the coffee pot or a scheduled appointment.   The same applies when exercising this particular wealth muscle.

Wealth Wednesday

What is Wealth Wednesday?   Think of it as an anchor.   The definition of an anchor is a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability or security.  In this case, we rely on Wealth Wednesday as our anchor or reminder for flexing our wealth muscle.

Wealth Wednesday is also a movement.  It was started by, Top Performance Coach, Ray Higdon.  He founded a paid membership group Rank Makers where he provides valuable business and personal development coaching each day. Knowing how valuable philanthropy is for personal development and growing wealth he created the anchor, Wealth Wednesday to remind members to do something charitable at least one time a week.

What’s The Exercise

The exercise is to do something charitable for a stranger, with that has a financial cost, without expectation of receiving anything in return.   One of the ways I practice this is by paying for the car behind me when crossing the bridge or paying the tab for the person behind me in my favorite coffee shop.

Any Time, Any Place

Flexing your wealth muscle can be done any day, any time and any place.   Use your imagination.  Think of your local fire station or the person sitting alone at a restaurant.  You can pay someone’s toll.  The possibilities are endless.

Why A Financial Cost

People who have difficulty making and or keeping money generally have a poor mindset towards it.  A poor money mindset can repel money from coming to you.  Money is energy.  It needs to move and circulate through society.  When we are afraid to spend money because of a tight budget we tend to always have a tight budget.  However, when you can find an extra dollar to give towards a good cause a few things happen.

  • You will be less likely to be so pennywise and spend thrifty when you are making more money.
  • What if you don’t have any money to spare?  Then do a random act of kindness for a stranger.  Carry their groceries.  Open a door.  Help a senior citizen.  Look around there is always something you can do.
  • Humanity will be impacted by your act of kindness.   We all meet people who keep a smile on their face but is deeply troubled by something.  You never know how your act of kindness may change the direction of their life.  You may have given them the will to live another day and prevent a suicide because your kindness made them believe in humanity.
  • It feels good!  It feels good to help our worldly brothers and sisters.  And when something feels good we tend to keep doing it.

Have an impact on society and start flexing your wealth muscle by committing to a Wealth Wednesday practice regardless of what day of the week it is.  You will be glad you did.



Your Thoughts Will Heal or Harm You

Do you react to every negative comment online?  Do you let everything in?  Are you driven to keep people from critiquing you?  It’s exhausting, isn’t it?   Don’t feel alone.  A lot of people struggle with this.

All my life I have heard “it takes two to tango”.  But, it took me nearly all my life to really understand the meaning behind it.  It does take two to tango.  When we truly know that we are enough, then the words and opinions of others will have less of a hold on us.

That’s why I’m excited to share my notes with you from an interview featuring world renown hypnotherapist, Marisa Peer where she discusses the power of thought.   Her methods have touched and transformed many lives around the globe.

What is Rapid Transformational Therapy

Conventional therapy requires a lot of talking that can continue for months and even years.  Therapists want to take a problem and break it down in stages.   Rapid Transformation Therapy is a form of hypnotherapy that addresses the role function purpose, the”commands” we give ourselves.

When a symptom has a role function purpose and intention the symptom will not go away.  So, if someone has headaches, the RTT therapist walk them through what’s the role of that headache, what’s the function and what’s the payoff.

The Brain Has No Sense Of Humor

70% of our issues, although the symptoms are real, you have a real migraine, and really flaky skin, the cause of them is completely psychosomatic. Because the mind’s job is to tune into your thoughts and give you what it thinks you want. And it can only work that out by what you say.  The brain has no sense of humor, and only picks up words and thinks they are real.   Thoughts become things.

We think our mind’s job is to make us happy. It really isn’t. It’s to make us survive against what were once really pretty bad odds. And how we survive is, every time we say something like, “That would kill me. I’d die if that happened,” the mind goes on red alert to stop it happening.  And, guess what over time those thoughts will deliver.

The good news is, since you say it, you can say something better.  Say something else, something positive because you’re in control.

Stress, Overwhelm, and Anxiety

Is stress, overwhelm, and anxiety, a fear of something?  It’s always a belief, “I’m not enough.”  Everyone has got three things wrong with them.

  1. I’m not enough.  This is the biggest problem.
  2. I’m different, so I can’t connect.
  3. I really want something.  Like freedom from depression or success. -“but it’s not available.”

“I’m not enough,” is the biggest.  Marisa worked with hundreds of thousands of addicts.  She’s never found one, ever, that believed they were enough.

Feelings are the most real thing we have, and we push them down, and we find all this stuff to buy, or eat, or drink, or take, to keep us, “comfortably numb.” But then the feelings regroup and come back because they’ve always got a job to do.

When looking at the key addictions – shopping, binging on food, binging on alcohol, binging on drugs…all of those things come from a feeling of emptiness inside, because we’re taught, “Oh, you feel a feeling? Why don’t you eat some doughnuts? Or go onto e-Bay or Amazon and buy something? Or have a drink?”  “You’ve got to feel the feeling until it no longer requires to be felt. You can’t eat it, or drink it, or shop it away.”

Lean Into The Feelings

Feel the feeling until it no longer requires to be felt.  “Let’s imagine you and your ex-wife are not getting on, and you have a feeling of rage about the fact that she’s trying to get your kid to call the new guy, ‘Daddy’, and she’s blocking you out, and you feel so angry.  And you think, “Well, I mustn’t feel angry, she’s doing it for the interests of my kid, and so I just drink the anger and I drink the anger,” and you see, with a feeling, it’s the most real thing you have. A feeling is like a little kid in a class, going, “Notice me! I’m over here!” And if you don’t, they get more and more out of control.”

When you don’t acknowledge your feelings, they regroup and they regroup until they become outraged.   It’s the kind of rage that suddenly comes out when someone cuts you off in a parking lot, or the line of a store, because the mind says, “I’ve got all this rage.  It wants to come out, someone just cut into the line, take it out on them.”


Triple-A’ is, be aware of your feeling – most people have no idea what they feel, they go, “I shouldn’t feel jealous, I shouldn’t feel envious, I shouldn’t be furious with this.” When they’re not aware of it, they certainly can’t accept and they never get to articulate what they’re feeling.

If you can say, “You know, my wife’s a good person, but actually I’m furious with what she’s doing, it really hurts my feelings,” – that’s why group therapy and places like AA, the good thing is, you get to say, “Sometimes I could quite cheerfully hurt, my wife. I’m not going to, but I feel like it.”  “Oh, yeah, I feel like it, too,” because when you can express your feeling, it goes away, it goes away immediately.

Feelings Are Like Gas

Feelings are like gas.  They’re in or they’re out, and they hurt much more when you keep them in. And you want to let them out.  And like gas, when you keep stuffing, it causes you pain.  When we keep everything in, it does so much damage.

Give Your Story A Happy Ending

Events actually don’t affect you, but the meaning you attach to them does.   We like what’s familiar, even if that’s very bad.   For example, the person who never had money and wins the lottery is familiar without it and will find a way to get rid of it all.    The same happens with love.  If I’ve never had love and you love me, I’m going to reject you, because it’s so unfamiliar.

We are wired to like what is familiar and to resist what’s unfamiliar, and that’s what kept us alive.  Our wiring says, “Run towards what’s familiar. And run away from what’s unfamiliar.”  The good news is, you can make anything familiar.  The most important thing to make familiar is praising yourself. If you could just do that, that in itself would change your entire life.

Praise Yourself

The most important thing to make familiar is praising yourself.  If you could just do that, that in itself would change your entire life.

How do you praise yourself?   You get up in the morning and go, “I’m a good person. I have a skill, I have a talent, I have something to offer the world. I’m here for a reason.”  You look in the mirror and go, “Oh, there you are! You’re a good person, you’ve got a good heart.”

The most important thing is that you like you. So, whatever you want to hear, say it to yourself, because your mind doesn’t even know that it’s coming… And, also, it doesn’t care. Your mind doesn’t care if what you’re telling it is right or wrong, or true or false, or even if it’s good or bad. It lets it in.

There is actually nothing on the planet that will raise your self-esteem like praise, but self-praise is better.   The mind likes repetition and when you praise yourself every day, your mind kind of goes, “Oh, yeah, here you go again with that praise. You say it every day, it must be true.” And now it sinks in.  The problem is if you criticize yourself every day it says the same thing.

Fear Of Rejection

When we’re born, we have two drivers: find connection and avoid rejection.  After all, if a mother rejects a child, if a lion rejects the cub, it’s not going to be adopted, it will die.  The lion will either kill it or let it starve to death.

We instinctively know that our survival on the planet is linked to not being rejected.  A thousand years ago, you would have died from rejection, when they banished you outside the walls of the city or you cast someone out of the community, you pretty much died.

Our wiring that says, “Rejection will kill me,” and that’s why you get the fear.  But when you can dialogue with yourself you go, “Well, no, it feels like it will kill me, but it can’t kill me.  Because no one can reject me unless I give them permission.”

Every Word You Say Is A Blueprint

Because our words really affect our reality, partly because,  every word you say is a blueprint that your mind body and psyche are working to make your reality.  So we make our thoughts, and our thoughts make us, and then we go out into the world and we justify our thoughts, every day.

Our words are a blueprint. And when you know that, you think, well I better pay attention to that blueprint. I better not say this kid is killing me, my job is making me want to die, I’m so stressed out by what a mess it is at Winco.”

This freeway is killing you?  Rather than stressing out about the commute, use the time to listen to something.  If you keep saying, “I want an hour to myself”, well here it is!

On the flip side of this, the beautiful part, when we understand and appreciate that our thoughts become reality, we can create the life of our dreams. We can start to manifest our thoughts by visualizing, by telling ourselves what we want, who we want to become, and taking those actions toward it, we can manifest our dreams.